The Dichotomy of Aftermath
by Aglarelen
Summary: In the aftermath of the Winchesters' final battle with the demon that killed Mary and Jess things can go many different ways. NOTE: Part of the Hell and High Water verse.


**Title:** _The Dichotomy of Aftermath_  
**Rating:** PG  
**Original Character(s):** KaraLynn and Lesleigh Bowen  
**Pairing: **Dean/Kara, Sam/Lesleigh  
**Verse: **Hell and High Water  
**Posted For:** The **occhallenge** LiveJournal community's Challenge #35 Song Inspiration  
**Songs: **_I Love You_ - Sarah McLachlan and _Far Away_ - Nickelback  
**Summary:** In the aftermath of the Winchesters' final battle with the demon that killed Mary and Jess things can go many different ways.  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Sam, Dean, Papa, or Mary Winchester, Jess or anything from the _Supernatural_ universe, I just play there. I sure wish I'd have thought it up though. I own only KaraLynn, Lesleigh, Grammy (Mary Rose), mother (Louisa), and father Bowen. I get nothing from this, but the joy of writing it and possibly a tiny bit of praise, if I'm lucky.  
**Author's Note:** Well, this is a fic made up of two ficlets that tell two stories of what happens with Kara and Dean after John, Sam, and Dean finally kill the demon that killed Mary and Jess. The two parts are named after the songs that inspired them. And now on with the prologue.

* * *

Kara followed Dean around the room as he threw his things in his bag, "Let me help. I know what I'm doing. You can keep an eye on me. It'd be better for my worrisome mind." 

He shoved the last of his clothes in the bag and turned on her, "No! You can't be there. I'd be worried about you."

"Oh!" she said in frustration, "Like you wouldn't worry about me being here without you."

"Nope. That bastard will be too busy with the three of us." Dean said with a smirk. The easy bravado didn't reach his eyes. She knew he was nervous.

Kara sighed heavily as he hefted the bag on his shoulder and followed him down the stairs. "Come on. You know I can do this."

He rolled his eyes, stopped at the front door and turned around, "No and that's final. If I see you anywhere near this fight, I'll wring your neck. Nice and slow." Her face was angry and he continued to leave, making his way out onto the screened porch and half way out the door when she called out.

"Dean, wait!" her face had softened. Reaching up she grabbed him round the ears and dragged him down into a hard, hungry kiss. Responding with the usual, Dean pulled her forcefully against his chest, and then stood up straight, lifting her off the ground. She wrapped her legs around his waist and moved her fingers into his hair. She knew he had to go; she just wanted to delay it as long as possible. She knew he might not survive this, that none of them might. As she gently bit on his bottom lip, she thought how much this was like a soldier leaving his girl at home to go to war.

Crossing her arms behind his neck, she leaned back slightly, ending the kiss. She whispered as her forehead came to rest on his, "Come back."

Kara let her cheek brush his face as he held her tight. A shiver ran up her spine as his warm lips caressed her ear, "I will." She held him tight and he fought the urge to stay right there.

Lesleigh gave Sam a nudge and tilted her head in the direction of the porch. They smiled at the sight. "Dean! I'll leave without you." Sam said feigning anger. He gave Leigh a final squeeze and slipped behind the wheel.

Leigh headed back to the porch and couldn't resist one little jab, "He's not kidding you know." Kara kissed Dean once more and dropped back to her feet. His over shirt slid through her hand as he stepped away and she caught it with her fingers. She provided just enough resistance to pull it slightly crooked, but released it. It was a message that wasn't lost on him. It was her way of telling him how she felt.

Dean took a deep breath as he approached the car. This was the moment he had waited for, for so long. They were finally going to kill the demon that had taken his mother away. It would all be over soon and he wasn't sure what to make of it. It had never occurred to him before that he may not survive, but as he felt Kara's eyes on his back, the thought weighed on his mind. He slumped into the passenger's side of the Impala and watched her. He could see her shoulders rise and set. The soft woman he had held only moments before was now a pillar of stone. A granite angel standing watch for his return. The one thing he had waited for all his life was coming and all he wanted was to be back in her arms. As they pulled out of the drive, he secretly asked every deity he had ever heard of to keep them alive. He didn't want to die, because it would break her heart. He just couldn't do that. Not to her. Not now. Not knowing what he felt.

**_I Love You_**

It had been days since she'd last heard from him. She hadn't slept much and she was driving Lesleigh crazy. If she wasn't worrying about Dean, she was worrying about Sam, or worrying about John. How would they go on without each other? Anger and pain would dog their steps. Sam would be the deciding factor for Dean. Dean would break if Sam died. He would blame himself even if there was nothing he could have done to stop it. Kara knew the connection the brothers shared. An unbreakable bond forged by death and life.

Kara did research, trained, paced the house, and drank coffee until she could no longer hold the mug. She barely ate the food that Leigh put in front of her. She resisted the desperate urge to call him, text him. Instead she sat in the front room, curled up in the corner of the sofa. She fell into uneasy sleep. Dark shapes drifted around her. Panic gripped her then ebbed away just to begin the vicious cycle again. The characteristic roar of the Impala was nearly lost in the deafening silence. When she did open her eyes, she saw the car come to a slow stop at the curb. Kara pulled herself up and went to the door, easing it open as if still floating through the dream. Her bare feet touched the wooden planks of the screened porch. First right then left. At her appearance the car door opened and he stepped out. It was nothing she hadn't seen before - cuts, bruises, a slight limp, and a wince of pain. Dean made his way down the front walk. She matched him step for step. They met on the stairs, him at the bottom and her on the last tread. At this height, she still stood just under his chin. They didn't speak, just stared. Unsure of how to move forward.

He had survived the fight of his life. He should hurt worse. He should be lying in a hospital bed like his dad, but he'd been pushed aside. Should be drifting in drug induced dreams like Sam, but he'd gotten too used to pain killers. The three of them were lucky to be alive and he knew just how much. The demon had been stronger than Dean ever imagined and it would have cut them all down had John not made his move. That decision was the difference between life and death. It made the difference between safety and ICU. Dean watched the final moments between man and evil from the floor. His father had pushed him out of the way and then dealt the final, fatal blow. After everything they'd been through, it was finished so quickly. Then the agony began. Dragging their unconscious father to the truck. Letting Sam drive Dad to the hospital while he followed in the Impala. Trying to think of a story to tell the doctors when they asked what had happened. Although, now he couldn't remember much. Most of it was a blur of wild emotions, tinged with anger and solemn relief.

Kara knew none of this and he wasn't about to tell her. She could feel his pain, his anger, his confusion, his fear. She wasn't going to ask what happened. There were only two things she needed to know and, after a long silence, he told her without prodding. "Sam's at a hotel sleeping off the pain. Dad's in the hospital, but he'll live. It's dead."

Leigh had come out on the porch and leaned in the doorway, "How's Sam doing? Is he hurt bad? Why didn't you just bring him along?"

"He's been better. Nothing's broken, but he'll be pretty sore for a while. He needed to sleep and I couldn't." Dean knew he had to answer her or Lesleigh would keep badgering him. "I'll get him to call you later. I promise." He turned his attention back to Kara. They looked at each other. An unspoken communication and she was in his arms. He cradled her against his chest and whispered, "I gotta go. Sam'll be worried." She didn't want to let go. She tightened her grip on his ribs and buried her face deeper into his shoulder. Dean stroked her hair, dropped his head and put his lips to her head. Taking a deep breath, he whispered "I have to leave."

Slowly, she released her grip and looked up into his eyes, "I know." He kissed her gently and headed for the car. Lesleigh made her way down the steps, put her arms around her sister's neck and rested her head on her arm. They watched him drive down the road and disappear behind the curve. Kara sniffled a bit and Leigh felt a tear on her skin, "It's finally safe and I forgot to tell him I loved him."

**_Far Away_**

Lesleigh leaned against the archway between the dining and living rooms. Her arms crossed over her chest, she spoke, "Staring out the window all day isn't going to make him come back any faster."

Kara gave her younger sister a glance before returning her attention to the window, "Maybe not, but I prefer it over working myself to death."

"I'd never let you do that." Lesleigh said making her way across the room to her sister, "Come on you gotta eat something. I made cheese biscuits." They had always been there for each other through the deaths of their father, mother and, just last year, Grammy. Kara kept things together. Lesleigh kept her together. Kara would starve or run herself ragged if she didn't.

The weather had turned dark and cold. Storms bombarded the house as they rode up over the mountains and sank into the valley. Kara's dreams had been silent, but then again she had pushed herself to exhaustion every day trying to keep her mind occupied. She had run out of things to do since Sam and Dean had left. Worry had given way to desperate hope days ago. _How long should I wait?_ The question had plagued her for days now, but she couldn't bear to speak her concern to Lesleigh. She couldn't damage her sister's rigidly enforced calm. She had actually broken down two nights before and called Dean's cell. It went immediately to voicemail. She needed information desperately and she wasn't getting it.

Kara didn't know that Lesleigh had done the same. She left a long sad message on Sam's phone after getting no response to her emails. Neither young woman wanted to burden the other with her concerns and fears. Lesleigh had made her way to the couch and put her hand on Kara's shoulder. "Come on. You'll like the beef stew. It'll warm you up." Kara's eyes closed as she sighed and moved to stand. They both stopped dead when they heard the sound. It was unmistakable. The Impala was coming down the road, headlights glowing with hope in the fading daylight.

The sisters looked at each other and then back out the window silently asking if what they were seeing was real. Lesleigh moved quickly. She threw open the door and stepped out onto the screened porch as the car pulled into the drive. Kara followed her slowly, as if she were dreaming and didn't want to wake up. Her attention focused on the car, she didn't even notice Lesleigh take off.

Sam got out of the passenger's side. He barely had time to ground himself before Lesleigh came running across the lawn and collided with him. A gasp of pain escaped him as they hit the Impala. "Hey! Take it easy. I'm in pain here." He could hear her crying against his chest and put his arms around her. For a moment, he reveled in the feeling, but too quickly, she pushed away.

There was confusion on his face as Lesleigh slapped at his arm, "Stupid! Ignorant! Dumbass!" She punctuated her words with hits, "Why-the-hell-didn't-you-answer-me?" All he could do was smile back at her. "Don't mock me! I'll slap that silly grin off your...," she was cut off when he grabbed her shoulders and kissed her.

Dean paid no attention to the fiasco that was his brother and Lesleigh. He was too busy watching Kara. She stepped into the frame of the screen door and braced herself against it. He knew she wasn't sure if she should believe what she was seeing. Her vision was going blurry from the tears and he looked like a mirage. She tried to blink the tears away, but it was no use, more simply took their place. He walked towards her, clearing the distance in less than a dozen steps. Reaching the bottom step, he saw her release the door frame and start down the stairs. On the first step her knees gave way and he had to move quickly to keep her from tumbling. Cradling her, he sat down on the steps and let her curl up against him.

The only sound for a long moment was Kara's muffled sobs. Her arms wound around under his jacket. Her fingers twisted in his shirt. Her face buried in his chest. Dean wrapped his arms around her and dropped his lips to her hair. He kissed her head and felt everything that had been building up over the years pressing against him. Slowly, her sobs gave way to words, "I didn't hear from you. I called you and still nothing. I thought you were dead."

He squeezed his eyes tightly closed to get a hold on the emotions trying to break free, "I'm sorry. I spent a few days in the hospital." There was a sharp intake of breath at the words and he added, "But I'm fine now. Just some cuts and bruises. Nothing serious." Sam and Lesleigh walked up silently and with understanding smiles went inside to eat dinner.

They sat there for a long time saying nothing. Kara was listening to his heart beat. Dean listened as her breathing slowed and fell in with his. He mulled over all the emotions, focusing his thoughts on what recent events meant for him now, for her, for them. He thought about what she had said. She thought he was dead. He nearly was. He had fought like hell to stay alive. It was all over. They had gotten their revenge, but when it came down to the end, one thing kept him fighting for air, fighting to keep his eyes open. He needed to see Kara again, if only one last time. He had to make up for everything he'd done. All the times he had walked away in the middle of the night. All the calls he had never made. The messages he had not answered.

The words came slow and soft, "I've waited a long time for this." Kara just listened. She knew what he meant. Knew he was talking about the end of his search. Getting revenge for his mother. She simply took comfort in his voice and the warmth of his body. "I've thought about it a lot. I've gone over it in my head a million times. What would it be like? How would it happen? How would I feel? Would it be different...knowing that this time was really it." He shifted slightly and placed his cheek against her forehead.

Kara felt a tear against her skin and knew it wasn't her's. Hearing him sniff, she pulled away and repositioned herself on his thigh. She took his face in her hands and wiped at the tears with her thumbs. "It's ok." She kissed him gently. She thought she understood, but she didn't. Not totally. It was partially because of what had happened with the demon. The rest she could only imagine.

He met her eyes and, instantly, felt more at ease. His words were a bit shaky, "I need you to forgive me."

A hint of a smile curved her lips, "Forgive you? For what?"

Dean took a deep breath, "For making you wait." She was confused now, but he continued before she could question, "Kara, I love you. I've always loved you. I just didn't say it because,...I was afraid that something would happen to you, especially after what happened with Sam and Jessica. I couldn't forgive myself if I had brought that on you."

"Oh, Dean." she said putting her forehead to his, "I forgave you for that a long time ago. I knew why." She let her face brush against his as he pulled her close. Her lips against his ear, she whispered, "I love you, Dean Winchester and I've always loved you."


End file.
